Oral History with Brittany Wade, July 10, 2015 (Ms2015-007)

TRANSCRIPT: BRITTANY WADE

Date of Interview: July 10th, 2015 Interviewer: Megan Lee Myklegard Place of Interview: SWAP loft 5th Street, Austin, Texas Length: 31:02 Transcribers: Megan Lee Myklegard

Megan Lee Myklegard: Hello this is Megan Myklegard it is Friday, July 10th, 2015. We're in the SWAP loft on 5th Street in Austin, Texas. I'm here with Brittany Wade, would you like to introduce yourself with the date of birth and place of birth?

Brittany Wade: Sure, my name's Brittany Wade I was born on 5/21/1989 in Willis, Virginia.

MYKLEGARD: Wonderful. Alright so to start of at the beginning can you tell us a little bit about your family and how you were raised?

WADE: Sure. My family, it's me and my brother and my two parents, they are still together—probably will be forever. They actually just retired about two weeks ago, my mother from Virginia Tech at 42 years and my dad at Moog for I think closer to 45 years. And so we grew up in Willis Virginia which is an hour outside of Blacksburg, very small rural town. Floyd county, and it's grown significantly since I was growing up there. Since I was growing up there there was nothing in Floyd, and now it's kind of blossomed into the Floyd fest stuff, 1:00Main street is full of stuff but when I was there it was the high school and Hardees. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs]

WADE: And that's about it. I wasn't really close to like outside family, I see my uncles, aunts, and cousins about once a year usually Christmas we'll get together for one day. But we're pretty close knit I still try and talk to them about once a week, but I just moved out here to San Antonio and to them that's the biggest thing that's ever happened. They can't believe that I would be willing to move to San Antonio, I was like "yeah, let's just do it and see what happens." But yeah small town, small family.

MYKLEGARD: Was religion a part of your life at all?

WADE: Um, I always identified as Christian but it was never a strong point in my life. The churches that were around my area were very small town church, they were very much Hellfire and Brimstone. You follow the Bible to a tee and if not you're just a sinner and castaway. Even my mother didn't like going to church, 2:00but it's always been a big part—my Uncle on my dad's side, I think he's a deacon at this point in time maybe more. They always pushed us to go to their church, but it seemed gimmicky. It never felt like a church's church. Then when I was living in Roanoke during college I did go to church with a few friends here and there, but I don't know it felt always more I don't know pay your dues to the church pay your membership. It felt more of like a formal club that you're joining instead of actually practicing religion or what you believe in.

MYKLEGARD: So you wouldn't say that you're religious?

WADE: I would go like 50/50. There are some things that I believe in, but I'm 3:00not like hardcore, devote read the bible every night kind of thing.

MYKLEGARD: How do you identify yourself, and when about did you come out?

WADE: Um, I identify as lesbian and I don't know, I never had like a breaking moment of like "this is who I am." It's just kind of always how I felt I guess around later in high school it started to really develop and it's like "oh, okay. Alright, this is, this is what it is." My senior year of high school I guess is when like relationships started, so it kinda made sense. But I never had like a big coming out moment. I'm out to close friends, I'm like 90 percent certain my family knows, but we've never had like a conversation about it. It's not like we sat down and like "this is what it is" you know, but most of my close friends know and so I would say a young age, but it developed in late high school I guess.

MYKLEGARD: Did being involved in the church at all, did that ever affect you and 4:00how you identified?

WADE: My first relationship, I guess a little bit, she was the pastor's daughter [laughs] and that's the church that we went to and that was actually the only church I liked going to [because] he [the pastor] was an incredible person. Just the way he treated people and just made everyone so welcoming and I think for her that was a big problem for her, but for me not so much. I mean to me it's, love is love, and why would a God think you're a sinner for love? You know it just didn't made sense to me but I think it was a big issue for her.

MYKLEGARD: Was there a reason you didn't ever formally come out to your parents?

WADE: Um, my plan has always been I would at like the point of marriage I guess. It's like "this is who I'm gonna be with, this is who it is." I don't know it's—we're close but we're not that close. They're not involved in like my day 5:00to day life. When we talk it's just "how's work?" and you know that kind of stuff. So we're close but it's never closely close like any of my—even through high school and all that, even day to day stuff wasn't, we weren't that close. I do—it's inevitable someday but I think it would be hard for them to understand like "oh, I'm with this person it didn't work out. Oh I'm with this person." I don't want them to, I guess, think like my life is horrible because I didn't find the right man or something I don't know. I don't know it's not an easy conversation to have either so I'm probably just avoiding it. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs] Do you think there's any specific reason why you don't feel necessarily close to your parents or your family?

WADE: I've always been super independent. So even through elementary, high school, like I always did things on my own. So like they never like asked me to do my homework or things like that, they never were even involved in that 6:00part. Like I brought home decent report cards and so they knew I was doing my work. I was always involved in music in high school; I did band and choir in high school, so I was always at school late. I usually would go early and late so it was like 7 o'clock to 9 o'clock everyday for me. Of course they [her parents] worked, they worked an hour away so we didn't really see each other that much either. I wasn't at home that much and they worked so, I don't know, I don't think there's any particular reason. It's probably more me, I'm just very independent and I guess as I've grown older become even more independent and I guess a little self secluded. But—

MYKLEGARD: [laughs] How would you describe any clique that you had in high school or just your group of friends?

WADE: Um, in high school— I was actually thinking about this the other day. It's kind of weird— I don't think I had a clique cause when I went to lunch at high school I would sit at different tables usually, you know, a different table every day of the week. I would hang out with this group of people and this group, so I 7:00think I hung out with a little bit of everyone. I never had a large group of friends, I'm mostly introverted so I like having a few close friends and my few close friends were on work release, so they would leave early from high school everyday to go work. Which one of them didn't even have a job I don't know how that worked. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs]

WADE: But um, so they were gone. I just hung out with different people. I don't think I had a specific group. I was always close to the people I did band and choir with, obviously, because I spent a lot of time with them. But other than that I don't think I have a clique.

MYKLEGARD: Do you remember the initial moment that you discovered the LGBT community, or first heard anything about being LGBT?

WADE: [pauses] Hm, um, it had to have been college. I don't remember anything 8:00about it in high school. Definitely not, it was very small, very, I can't even remember. Usually there's that one kid that everybody knows is gay and their kind of known as the gay kid but I don't even remember that. Maybe there was I just don't remember. But it was probably actually— I do it was actually Virginia Tech because I started working at Virginia Tech when I was fifteen. I would work there during the summers full time as a book keeping assistant. I got to work with my mother's office, like doing her filing and petty work. Stapling and shredding and stuff and I guess working around there. I can't remember if it was the SafeZone that was there. That would've been, like 2005 maybe 2004, 2005 so I can't remember if SafeZone was around by then. But I guess just seeing around campus, and Squires, the posters, and the different groups that met, but I probably didn't put a whole lot of thought into it at that point.

MYKLEGARD: So you wouldn't say that, besides the relationship that you had your senior year of high school, did you have any other LGBT friends?

WADE: Not then, no. It wasn't until, yeah it wasn't until that relationship had ended and I picked up a part time job in college working for Radio Shack and my manager was gay. So we ended up being best friends and I was like a potato. I sat on the couch I was depressed at that point in my life, so I started working for him and he started taking me out and introducing me to different people and until then I probably didn't have any gay friends. So I wasn't even like a part of the LGBT community at all [except], I think, through that relationship. It was just very—it didn't even feel I guess like we were in this special relationship, or it was just us and that's how it was and I didn't really 10:00think anything else about it. But no, he introduced me—and we were living in Roanoke at the time—kind of got me out into the world and kind of showed me. I guess until then I didn't really know much about the community or what it was about or even like the struggles. Like politically, I probably had no clue. It didn't matter to me at the point so, yeah. I think it was at that point, I really didn't have too much interaction until then.

MYKLEGARD: What made you decide to go to Virginia Tech?

WADE: Well I actually worked there, and I've worked there since I was pretty much 15 off and on and I just recently left there. I actually went to a technical college, but I've, since my mother worked there I was born and raised at Virginia Tech. like I was at work all the time with her like cause when it would snow, they wouldn't cancel school after they had to leave from work. And so we just went to work with her and I was just kind of like born and raised there. I spent so many hours there just being young, I'd bring like legos and a movie and just hang out all day. I didn't go there, I don't know why I didn't think to even go there but, it's still at my heart and soul.

MYKLEGARD: So when you went to college, was being a member of the LGBT community, did you seek out any like LGBT groups or anything?

WADE: No I went to ECPI Technical college, which is in Roanoke, Virginia. It's since then been renamed to Skyline I think, but I think they may have changed back to ECPI. Anyway it's a small, really small technical college and so it's just a college of guys. Just a bunch of guys. They having a nursing department, but they were separated so. No, there was no groups there was no anything like 11:00that, I didn't really seek out, I was in a relationship at the time and I didn't need any other support or anything so I didn't even go in search of other friends or community.

MYKLEGARD: Were you involved in any LGBT groups in your time at Virginia Tech?

WADE: No, I did to SafeZone. My last stint at Virginia Tech I was there for four years, and so during that time period I was part of the SafeZone through there. I took the classes and got that, but other than that I didn't do any of the other like community forums they had. They had a ton of different communities and meet ups and all kind of things, but no I didn't do anything else. Sometimes I would do things with John Gray Williams, if he was doing a project or going to a group thing and like I was free he would drag me along or something, but other than that, nothing formal.

MYKLEGARD: Do you remember any particular events that were put on by the LGBTA around that time?

WADE: The one I'm most familiar with is the one that John Gray did, because we worked in the same office so I had to see and be a part of it. [Says to self] What did he call it? I forget what he called it [end aside]. It was for alum and active students and it was career related. What did he call it? But he would bring in these guest speakers open it up to the LGBT community to talk, 'Out at Work'! That's what it was. So it discussed the issues of being out at work, can you say this, can you be fired for it, can you you know that kind of stuff. So we were trying to introduce the students to that, and it was open to everyone. I think he usually had a pretty good turnout of around 80 to 100 students or so, and this'll be maybe his third of fourth year of doing that. Those were pretty cool events—I helped out. I do 12:00technology stuff, so I helped him record it and tape it and all that good stuff, so we would have it kind of on record. But—

MYKLEGARD: Was there any reason that you didn't join the groups or become super active?

WADE: Um, I well—I don't know if there's any one specific reason. Like I said I'm mostly an introvert so as long as I have my few close friends I don't usually go in search of other communities to be a part of. That and at work it was a little odd for me, like I didn't want to have this blanket like "oh the lesbian of the office," or whatever. So at work I think I was more careful of protecting who I was. As where if it was like a casual like outside of work thing, especially working in the Division of Student Affairs because your colleagues are the people that are involved in the— heavily involved in the,—not that I think anyone would care or have treated me any differently, it was just more of a 13:00personal preference I guess. And, I don't know I guess I just didn't want to be 'out out' to everyone, but I guess I just didn't need the support at the time either. I don't know.

MYKLEGARD: Do you remember any, for lack of a better phrase, any like 'hotspots' for the LGBT community in Blacksburg or any of the surrounding areas?

WADE: Um I feel like every spot in Blacksburg was, I don't know of like one specific I mean we would go out to every place in Blacksburg and you would see all different kinds of people at every place in Blacksburg, so I loved Blacksburg in that aspect that it was just very open; I never felt like too much of a clique in one spot. So I loved that, but when I was living in Roanoke, definitely The Park, and what was that other bar down the street. [sigh] I can't remember it was like a hole in the wall, they actually had a shooting there maybe like ten years previous. I can't think of the name, yeah I can't think of 14:00the name but yeah there's two places in Roanoke were about it. Which it seems like that's growing as well but I haven't been to Roanoke in a year, two years. Probably out with the community more like, five or so I haven't been there in quite awhile. But not too many specific spots in Blacksburg though.

MYKLEGARD: You touched on this a little, did you always feel comfortable in Blacksburg? Was there ever any point where you felt any backlash like if you were in a relationship and you were walking down the street did you ever feel uncomfortable?

WADE: No, but at the same time I wouldn't be the person walking down the street holding my girlfriends hand. So no, I've never felt any of the places that I've lived like secluded or unsafe or unwanted but I think that's probably more of me 15:00that necessarily the area I'm in. I try not to draw attention to myself. It's probably one of the things like, I'm good at avoiding. No I've never felt unsafe, but I do know of other people who have said that they felt unsafe. I've never had any experiences that made me feel unwanted, unwelcome, unsafe, or anything like that. So I don't know where they're drawing from but, not for me.

MYKLEGARD: Do you remember any of the specifics of why they felt unsafe?

WADE: Not at all it was hearsay of a friend of a friend and he was telling me about it because at one of the events he went to—I don't know what the event was about or any of the topics—but he said he stood up and proclaimed that he felt unsafe he felt unsafe walking across campus and things like that. I don't know anything of where that came from, I don't know. And I've known him for awhile so I don't know if anything that I knew of specific that had happened, I don't know.

MYKLEGARD: You mentioned awhile back you had a point of depression, was that sometime around college?

WADE: It was when I was finishing— you know your first relationships like the puppy love kind of thing and you think you can't live with out them and like all that stuff. I wouldn't say I was clinically depressed or anything like that it was just, I still got up and went to school and I still did my job and I still graduated with good grades and all that, but it was just— it was like [sigh]. Like it really sucked because it ended for like no reason. It was just she didn't want to be a part of the relationship anymore. So it wasn't like anything I did, it wasn't anything she did it was just it wasn't gonna work just because we wanted—I guess different lifestyles. And so that was kind of hard it was like, but you know I didn't do anything and we had been in the relationship I guess for a year and a half and lived together. It was like we were together together and then it was just one day, you know, this isn't gonna work. I was like 'you know we've been here a year and a half and now it won't work?' So that was a little weird and it was kind of hard to bounce back from that, but I wouldn't say it was like, I wouldn't say it was too dark I guess.

MYKLEGARD: Did you have friends at the time who helped you through it?

WADE: No, not really. That relationship was I guess extremely secretive I guess, she really didn't want anyone to know. So we were roommates and best friends and we would hang out with her family like I traveled with their family quite a few times, but it was—I was always the roommate and friend. So, I don't know. I 16:00don't know. I didn't start making friends I guess until afterwards and I picked up another part time job and tried to just fill my time with stuff and then I made some friends after that, but again being an introvert I never have a bunch of friends. I usually have two or three close friends, so.

MYKLEGARD: So what all were you involved in when you were in college?

WADE: Uh, nothing. I went to college. There weren't, as far as I know, there weren't any groups to be a part in. So if I did do groups it would have been community groups or, like outreach projects and stuff like that. So nothing there. I went to college full time and I worked pretty much full time, I always had a part time job, but I worked full time hours. So I would get up at like 6 am, class eight to one I would drive an hour to work. So I would work two to about nine or ten and then drive home. And its— I even went to the gym after 17:00work, I don't know what I was doing. So I'd go to be at like 1 am and get back up at 6 am the next day and do it all over again. So I really didn't have time for groups or friends, or any other stuff. My manager at Radio Shack he ended up moving in with me probably four or six months or something after we met, so at that point I guess my social life picked up a little bit, but until then it was just work and school that's all I do. On the weekends I would do all the homework for the next week so I would have time during the week to do other stuff, but yeah it was a crazy, crazy time.

MYKLEGARD: What was the work that you did?

WADE: I worked—through my stint in college I worked for Virginia Tech. In the summers I did, I guess my title was computer technician at the time so for the College of Architecture and Urban Studies I would do computer repair for them in the summer full time. I also worked at Best Buy and Radio Shack full time so I 18:00worked at the Christiansburg Best Buy and the Roanoke Best Buy here and there, and a couple different Radio Shacks. For Radio Shack, I would primarily work in one store, but I would often go to other stores and do this thing they called 'perfect store'. So they had this like guide of how their stores should be run and so I would go clean the store, make sure that everything's by the books and that stuff, so there was a lot of late nights till like 4 am doing that stuff. So I worked a lot through college. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: What brought you out to San Antonio?

WADE: Um, [laughs] craziness probably. At my last job for Virginia Tech I worked with a guy and he just moved out here for Rackspace, its probably been eight months for him now. And so when he left it was like [sigh] "man, I'm gonna miss you." We were good friends and he was gay as well, so I kind of had a little camaraderie there. We spent a lot of time together, was a good friend of mine. 19:00And he moved and it sucked I was like "man, that sucks." He just kind of texted me one day he was like "my manager said you know anyone? I recommend I you and could probably get you in here." I was like "no, there's no way I'm not as technically savvy as you are." I don't know he kind of let it pass for a month or so and he was like "seriously, we have openings on my team like you could work you know, we'd work different shifts, but you could work the same team as me." I was just like [sigh] "alright," so I dusted off the resume and he made me send it that night so my resume was terrible and I worked in the career center so I felt especially terrible. But I just sent it in that night and went through the interview process for about two months and offered me the job and I just felt like I'd be stupid if I didn't go. I also just got out of another relationship probably about six months prior and I had never wanted to be the person that stayed—born and raised—and stayed in the same place, like my 20:00parents. I think my mother's never even flown on a plane she— this is the furthest she's ever traveled like when they moved me out here to Texas they helped me move. So it's just very secluded and I knew I didn't want that. I had a lot of great opportunities at Virginia Tech to go to conferences, travel a little bit, do things here and there even with Radio Shack I got to travel and experience a little bit and I just knew I didn't want to stay there. So I didn't have anything I guess holding me back, my parents are healthy it's not like I need to take care or watch anybody so I just decided to try it and see how it goes so it's been four months now I think, four or five months.

MYKLEGARD: When you were moving out here did you ever think about what the LGBT community was like? Was that ever a part of your thought process?

WADE: Definitely, because I was friends with John Gray that's the, you know, like first questions he's asking me. [laughs] I was like "I don't know, I have 21:00no clue." I had spent a week or so at Austin at a conference a few years prior, but no I knew nothing about the scene. I still know nothing about the scene, I need to get involved in Rackspace— is really cool they're really big in diversity and they have an LGBTQ group within Rackspace. So they on your first— well during your orientation days they do like a group presentation, "these are all the groups that we have available for you to join, be a part of" and be part of their community. So they have a group, but again it's work for me, work is very separate for me. I guess work and personal are very separate, so I don't know that I'd ever get involved in that group. But being in a larger city and access to so many other cities, I have thought about it and I do need to get involved in groups here because when I picked up and moved, I mean, I knew one person in the state of Texas; so I do need to reach out and grow, but I know nothing about it now. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs] Even though you say you know nothing about it, do you still have any moments or like events that you could compare living in San Antonio to living in Blacksburg?

WADE: Um, well Blacksburg I was definitely out and about more; I definitely had more friends there. Here I haven't met people yet and the people that I do work with—it's a group of guys, so when I go out with them we go out to movies and to eat and like it's nothing like LGBT at all. But in Blacksburg I knew many people I guess that were in the group and so I did spend more time going out in Blacksburg, but so I have no experience here in San Antonio yet so—

MYKLEGARD: Do you have any predictions for how you will feel when you go out and try to seek that community?

WADE: I don't know. I guess I assume it will be fairly similar especially if you're going to clubs and bars that the scene is going to be very similar just in a different city, different atmosphere I guess, but I don't know, I don't really think about those things a whole lot because to me it doesn't, it doesn't weigh very heavily, but I guess other people it might.

MYKLEGARD: Okay, I only have a few more questions. So you've mentioned that you like to keep the professional world separate, do you think it's always gonna be that way for you?

WADE: I always imagined that when I found the person like I was gonna be with we're talking like marriage level, like this is it, I would be fine and open about it. Maybe not open, but if people knew I wouldn't care, but I wouldn't go around telling them I guess. And it's definitely becoming a lot more acceptable 22:00I guess; where I was from this small town it's just things that you didn't talk about. Now, you know, working for a company that's a relatively new company it's mostly younger people who have different mindsets than I guess— because when I did work for Virginia Tech in the particular areas I would work in it was mostly older people, and just you would hear them talking about other minority groups. I guess and it's just something that you didn't wanna, you didn't wanna add, I guess add to, or give them a reason to not like you or anything like that. So it's just, I don't know, it was just always easier to do your job and go home. So it wasn't anything I wanted I guess, out at work. I don't know about the future I guess, we'll see. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: Do you think San Antonio is like an LGBT friendly place?

WADE: I am sure it is [laughs] more so than—well I don't know Floyd is very different from when I grew up— I would say more open than where I was from, but at the same time its still very rural very south, southern Baptist I guess in some areas. So, I don't know. I probably feel like it's the same, but not having as much experience in San Antonio, I don't know for sure.

MYKLEGARD: Gotcha. Alright is there anything that you thought I would ask during the interview, but I haven't?

WADE: No, I don't think so I really didn't know what kind of questions would get asked or what would be asked. No, I don't think so.

MYKLEGARD: Alright, is there anything—this is a broad question, alright, so take it however you want.

WADE: [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: Is there anything you would like to tell future historians at VT?

WADE: Oh gosh, [pauses] future historians. Um, I don't know, I guess living in the year in the time, in the times that we've lived through it's been very like I remember being very young, and even now looking back to the 80s, 90s, 70s, and my manager at Radio Shack was older who lived with me so he was able to tell me of, kind of, his life experience of you know the years before it was grown, and it's just in this span of 20, 30 years how much has changed. I mean how far everything has come, it's quite amazing. I guess I feel lucky that I haven't felt the struggles that several other people have um, but yeah this time period has been significant for the LGBT community and I think going forward this will be the era to kind of look back at.

MYKLEGARD: Wonderful. Do you have anything else that you'd like to add?

WADE: Can't say I do.

MYKLEGARD: Well alright, thank you so much!

WADE: Thank you!